So,
did you think about where you would move?
How you would start a new life?
Would you be careful, organize what you have and plan the rest? Plan your life, live your plan?
I
started at the end and worked backwards.
Where did I want to be at the end of my life? What memories did I want to have? I already have a spectacular collection of
memories; I have had a great life! I
have been places and done things people write (and read) books about.
The
memories are divided into two piles; before and after marriage. I feel as if, looking back, I directed
both. The difference was the focus. Before, I it was all about me. Yes, I was self-centered and selfish, but my
parents told me I could be anything and do anything I put my mind to, so I was
and I did. I was also independent and
self-sufficient. My father did buy my
first car (a $400 Dodge Coronet), and my mother fed, clothed and sheltered
me. Thank you, Mama and Daddy.
Long
story short (hahahahahaha), I was born
to be a politician or an artist. Way too
many skeletons in my closet for a political future. Skeletons are, on the other hand, a firm
foundation for any creative life. Art,
it is. Now what?
Exactly when did it cease to be all about you?
ReplyDeleteOuch. I can answer when, exactly, it bacame all about me again: 2/14/12. I have been shocked to learn that all the effort I put into "thinking of others" went unnoticed. It is much easier now that I can be pure Pollyanna because I don't expend vast amounts of energy being trying to be acceptable to others. I'm a little lonely, but the decisions I make are truly mine, and I only have to justify them to myself. There's that all-about-me thing again. I, a rulebreaker, am accepting two natural laws, the law of conservation of energy and the law of attraction. Only time will tell if these are enough.
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